5 ways to stay merry this season.

This week I saw my first Christmas commercial on TV. Two things happened to me… first I was surprised, then I was depressed. It’s officially 2 months until Christmas. Let’s forget the fact that Halloween and Thanksgiving are celebrated before the big holiday… in the grand scheme of the advertisers, they don’t count. This means that the count down is starting. It’s time to bring on the fliers, Christmas carols, 50% off savings, lack of parking, gift lists, “mommy can I haves” and parties. You and I can remember the last few days before Christmas last year when we vowed that Christmas would no longer sneak up on us. We were going to get a head start next year. Vowed, remember? So instead of letting the hustle and bustle of Christmas overwhelm us all, let’s start planning now. I know that sounds simplistic but simplifying helps during the Holidays.

1. Prioritize. Prioritizing is always #1 and holds true with all of these tips. I often tell my clients; don’t sacrifice, prioritize! If you normally send out 50 Christmas cards and that task always overwhelms you, go through your list and prioritize. Does that co-worker from two jobs ago really stay in touch with you? Is he going to miss that one Christmas card from you this year? Probably not.

2. Make your gift lists and set a budget. When you make that list of people you like gifting to, set a dollar limit to each recipient. Even if you go over just a little you’ll feel better by knowing that when you’re shopping you have a set budget per person.

3. Start saving. You can do this in a multitude of ways. Force yourself to put $20 away per week in an envelope. Cut out going out for lunch for October and November and put that lunch money aside. Skip happy hour a couple of times. You’ll be surprised how quickly and how much you will accumulate over a few week’s time. However you do it just be sure to save.

4. Shop early. I know that when you shop early you always have that nagging thought in the back of your mind; “if I wait until closer to Christmas, this will go on sale!” Truth be told, it may… but it also may not. You may realize all too late that your item is the hot item of the season. Do you want to take that chance? Plus if you wait until December to buy it you’ll have to contend with the crowds. This elevates your overwhelm scale. If you see it, buy it and save your receipt. If it goes on sale you can take your receipt back to the store and most stores will honor the sale price and refund your overage.

5. Breathe! We go back to #1… being overwhelmed is not the reason for the season. Is it really necessary to be that overwhelmed? Take care of yourself and your blood pressure. Remember there are only 4 Saturdays in December. If you can’t attend every Holiday Party that you’ve been invited to, graciously decline. The host will appreciate the RSVP and will understand. If not and the host begins to badger you by saying “just stop in for a few minutes” and you know that you have volunteered to bring in a full Christmas breakfast to Church the next day, it truly is ok to just say no, you can’t do it. You’ll be happy that you did.

In the end remember, the Holidays are a time to be surrounded by friends that you love, family that you cherish and memories that you will be making. You won’t remember in ten years that you forgot to make the homemade eggnog for your Christmas gathering. Enjoy your company and be joyful for another year of celebrating.

Vineyard Hopping

Last month we went vineyard hopping down the east coast. I'm not an avid photographer, as a matter of fact I normally forget to take pictures. We are mostly interested in the process of making wine then we are in drinking it... well, I AM... Tony may differ on that one. At any rate, I'm not sure what the allure of vineyards is but being among wine is so romantic. The vineyards, the bistros in the vineyards, the manufacturing of it and finally the wine tastings... it's all an awesome experience. No wonder many brides choose to honeymoon along the vineyards. It's a beautiful place to be not to mention after drinking a few it's also a happy place to be.

Along the way we stopped and visited friends and family. The pictures are mixed up so that's the answer to that question. Notice, I took more pictures of the dogs then of our beloveds - that's not to say we didn't have a spectacular time with everyone.

The social media bug.

I can verify... the social media bug has not bitten me. As a matter of pure fact, I can not - for the life of me - figure out how business owners keep up with all of these posts. Twitter, Facebook, Linkedin and blogs. Truly way too much work for this business owner. I update my blog and people ask me where I've been on Twitter. I update my twitter and people ask why I've abandoned Facebook.... and so the story goes... I digress... you win... I can't keep up! Even with my crackberry, I just can't keep everything fresh and try to run a profitable business. I'm not sure how everyone else is doing it but I can tell you from this little corner office, it's not going to happen from me. If I really want to know that you're headed to Park City, I'll ask. If you have an announcement for an upcoming event, I'll wait until I see you at the very many networking meetings that all business owners are expected to attend - you can tell me then.So, if you've wondered where I've been... I've been here tweeting, facebooking, linkedining and trying to update my blog. But if you really do need me...for crying out loud, try the old fashioned telephone. Remember that thing?

It's this Saturday

Reminding all those music geeks; this Saturday is the Jazz Night at 8 pm right here at the Perfect, Perfect Settings.

Marriage

I'm not quite sure why this struck me to be so funny. Hope you like it as much as me. Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and family values. Stu said, 'I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?' Leroy replied, 'I might have, what was her maiden name?'

Cut a rug

Let's cut a rug swaying to jazz....Perfect Settings has joined forces with the very talented Coopers, from Columbia, to bring you a fine night of jazz. Mitch and Jeannie have put together a great compilation of music to satisfy the most pickiest of guests. Be sure to reserve your tickets today... we're expecting a full house. Feel free to bring a bottle of your favorite wine or beverage. See you there!

Look good at a wedding

Going to the Chapel… now what? I remember reading somewhere that the beautiful Teri Hatcher was walking out of the ceremony site for her friend and coworker, Eva Longoria. Teri, of course, was breaking all the rules of dress. She wore a powder blue prom dress – I might add she was really wearing that dress, which helps. There was a caption next to the picture that said something like: “At times, the usual rules of fashion etiquette don’t apply to the famous.” Nooooo! You don’t say. The article went on to tell the normal wedding-goer the dos and don’ts of wedding apparel. They would apply to you and me. Rachael Donaldson the host of Bravo’s “Project Runway” had some great tips about what to wear to a wedding. The rules are simple but sometimes I’m taken aback at what people wear to corporate meetings when the memo clearly states; business attire. Being in the thick of wedding season I don’t want to assume that guests know how to dress. So, I’m going to review Donaldson’s rules here. 1. When you receive the invitation, look for clues. If it’s an evening affair (after 5 pm) you’d be safe to wear a black gown or tux but if the invite says “Family Homestead or Farm” or “County Park” or something like “on the sunny beach of…” you may want to heed the warning and forgo the gown and wear a simple dress or dressy slacks. Should the invite have lots of pages, tissue papers and response cards on beautiful paper, it signals that this is a more formal event. 2. When in doubt, overdress. Donaldson states that “you can always take off your tie and unbutton your shirt” if it’s casual. There’s a huge however coming along here…. However, I’ve seen mothers of the brides, mothers of the grooms, guests and family show up in a very beautiful gown but it’s two sizes too small or worse yet too revealing. Don’t do it guys. And for you brides; don’t loose sleep over what so-and-so is wearing, if they ask for your opinion please be frank! – you’ll be happy that you were. 3. Don’t overdo it. It’s really distracting if you wear something inappropriate. Do not consider this a night out with the hubby when you feel like taking advantage because you lined up a baby sitter. In other words, don’t look like you’re going clubbing. 4. Black is a go, white is a no. I know that some say that it’s better for a summer wedding to choose navy blue instead of black because black isn’t “universally flattering” and can look more funeral-like than festive… I disagree. If done properly anyone can look fabulous in black unless you’re wearing that power suit that you gave a presentation to the board. Don’t wear white. Period. 5. Be discreet. This is a good one. If your dress is very sexy wear a wrap to the church. There are still some things in this world that are still being held sacred. That’s a church sanctuary. Have the big reveal at the reception so to speak. Take off that beautiful wrap at the reception site. This is a good place to show off your shoulders.

In a nut shell Diane Forden, the Editor-in-Chief of Bridal Guide magazine says this: Morning: Light fabrics, dresses knee-length, accessories discreet. Afternoon: Be festive but refine with a sleeveless dress, open-toe shoes (but I have to interject here… why do we, in Lancaster County, wear stockings with opened-toe shoes? Please, NO STOCKINGS!!!). Along with your airy outfit add a classy clutch and bangles to your ensemble. Evening: Wear a chic cocktail dress or gown when specified on the invite. Color is good even dark colors but avoid bold prints. Destination: A printed sundress is acceptable, beaded flip-flop thongs or metallic flats and a silky fringed shawl are perfect for a beach wedding. Before doing all of this be sure to RSVP on time. Which is a great segue; don’t add a guest unless the second envelope in the invitation specifically says you can. The inner envelope will say: Ms. C. Smith and guest. If it doesn’t don’t assume that you can bring someone. Don’t even dare to ask the bride if it’s ok. Trust me, she is counting on you to come alone. Lastly, don’t return your response card with a note jotted on it; “I’d like to sit with my cousin from Virginia, Claudia, but don’t sit us with Harry.” That’s tacky.

Daisy Pagan is a principal owner of Perfect Settings, 200 Locust St., Columbia. She studied Event Coordinating at Temple University and has been bringing together fabulous events for over 14 years before starting her business. Perfect Settings is a premiere reception venue that is very modern and chic. Perfect Settings specializes in extraordinary and elegant events. Daisy can be reached at 684-4455. www.perfectsettings.net or daisy@PerfectSettings.net

Learn to fly again

I can't tell you how much I love this video! I've only seen it on TV two times. All the other times I've asked Anthony to show me on his hand-held.... he's sick of me.

OMGosh... I can watch this 10x and laugh every single time! The only other time that I thought a commercial was truly this funny was in the late 80s - early 90s when Edy's Ice Cream made that running baby in the walker commercial... remember that?

Baby Shower

When people talk about Perfect Settings it almost becomes synonymous with weddings. Weddings are about 60% of our market. The other 40% is normally parties that require more space than just your living room. We host a ton of rehearsal dinners, anniversary parties and milestone birthday parties in addition to showers - both bridal and baby. The Mayor of Columbia is expecting a grand baby.... well they actually had their baby a week ago (if you ask me they had a toddler) at any rate, the Mayor's wife decided to host her daughter in law's baby shower here at Perfect Settings. It was such a lovely afternoon and very tastefully done. The next time you're looking for more than just your living room space do think of us.

Wedding Invitations

For you brides that are always on the lookout for something cool, amazing and fun...

Congratulations to the Graduate!

The following was written by me for the Columbia Register.So you got through the tears at the drop-off door of Kindergarten. Now you’re wondering what happened to all of those years in between. Your baby is graduating. Having had two children graduate from high school then college, I can relate. Don’t let your emotions get in the way of having a blast for your graduate. This is an amazing time for him when friends, schools and lives will change. He’s really looking forward to it. So do I hear a party is in order? I’m glad you agree. Parties have come a long way from mini-frankfurters with mortarboard toothpicks in them. Gone are the days of formal sit down meals, as well. Today’s kids are looking for the hip, the great and the wonderful as a way to part from the alma mater. I belong to a coordinator’s web site where we share ideas, accomplishments (and on occasion frustrations) with each other. These coordinators come from all over the globe. I like to think I rub elbows with some of the most talented and popular coordinators of this nation. What I’ve learned over the last few years is that there are a lot of new trendy ideas out there for graduation parties that seem to come to Lancaster County by horse and buggy. Sometimes the horse and buggy never manages to make it here. For example, did you know you can have custom made fruit roll ups for your graduation party? You can choose the flavor then have an emblem or figure etched into them. Lots of kids have their year and school name cut out of the fruit rollups. There’s also a lot of energy around having food stations. Quesadillas, hot dogs, slushies, mini burgers, popcorn, pizza and cotton candy stations are very popular right now. Kids like fast food done fast. What’s better is that they are making their own meals and all you have to provide are the fixin’s. Those are the relatively new trends but some of the old ones are still alive: photo stamps of your graduate as a baby or toddler (you place these on the invitations. Yes, they are real U.S. postage stamps.), the all too familiar candy bar station. All of the candy must be in school colors. It wouldn’t be cool any other way. Lastly, the most popular old trend? Chocolate fountains. I can’t tell you how many chocolate fountains I’ve seen in the last 5 years. I’ll be happy when all of those motors die. Ironically, however, is that kids are always drawn to the least expected items that are the least expensive… a basket of dollar store toys. Glowsticks, leis, Mardi Gras beads, oversized glasses and sunglasses, hats, horns, paper yoyos (sometimes called Chinese yoyos), false teeth, gross false teeth, ostrich feathers, bouncy balls… the sillier the better. They may be graduating from high school but they’re still kids. If you are thinking you would love to have a party but can’t afford to have some of the popular trends, think about this; have one graduation party for your child in conjunction with some of his best friends. This way you’re killing lots of birds with one stone. Everyone will be there and a joint effort from all of the parents to tackle this party can be done. It doesn’t seem so daunting when there are people that have a common goal accomplishing the task. Be sure to have a meeting of the minds with an agenda. Ask the grads what it is that they want and be sure to validate everyone’s suggestions. While it seems that a mere RSVP request is straightforward enough, you’ll find that high schoolers are the worst at this simple task. My suggestion would be to have all RSVPs sent to a MySpace or Facebook page or have them texted to you. Kids spend the most time at these places. Why not have them make their time valuable at a familiar place for them? We have to go where kids are most comfortable. That or spend an afternoon calling each and everyone one of the invitees only to get voicemail that is prefaced with four minutes of hip-hop music. Just remember; the party is not for you. You may have been the one waking him up for the last 12 years for school but in the end it’s his accomplishment and no one can be more proud than your graduate.

How many people are attending?

Good question! So how many people ARE attending your event? This question comes up before my facility tour. I often try to narrow the questions down over the phone or via email. That way I'm not really wasting a client's time. They're on a fact-finding mission and there's no need to come here if their party is too large or too small. So the conversation normally goes like this:How many people are you expecting for your event? 175-200 people

Let's stop there. Really. How many people do you truly know? 200? Seriously? I've been in the industry for quite a while. I can tell you that the average person (non-ethnic I should add) has 125 people come to their wedding. That's on average. When I sign a client and they tell me they have 200 people coming to the wedding/event I normally ask "have you drafted your invitation list yet?" the answer is always "not yet but we know a lot of people" How in the world are you to look at venues if you haven't put together your invitation list? What if your guest count gets inflated to 225 and your venue can only accommodate 200? What if your list is just 95 and your venue's minimum is 100 - and on top of that the per plate cost is $100 per person? In either of the situations you have just created yourself a little bit of a problem... Be an informed consumer. Go into the planning process with the notion that you are a savvy consumer that is armed with the proper information to make an informed decision. How would you know otherwise if the venue is a good fit for you? How do you know you are getting value for your money? I'm always amazed at how many people buy on emotion during the planning process and not buy for value. I often encourage people that call to look around before coming here. I want them really to know that signing at Perfect Settings is really a solid decision based on the fact gathering.

US magazine's give away

Us Magazine and WeddingChannel.com just announced their yearly Dream Wedding program. They're looking for engaged couples with inspirational stories. Their reward is a full blown Celebrity Style Wedding... all expenses paid. Sounds good to me.Pass it on!!

Us Magazine's give away.

Now, that's a car!

I recently bought a new car after years of denying myself the pleasure.

Tell me that doesn't look like a Wedding Planner's car!

The funniest thing happened though.... one of my very best friends bought the same car. Same car, same color, same model, same everything. I knew I liked her.

The Reception Halls in Lancaster County

With all of the hustle and bustle of the season, I think this says it all....

Bride and Gloom

Whenever a best man or maid of honor takes a microphone at the reception to toast the bride and groom... I take a deep breath and hope for the best. Often times wedding planners express the fact that there's no real way to NOT be friends with some clients. You, therefore, find out the ins and outs of their personal lives. I have to say, though, that the story below has never happened to me at a wedding... and I'll pray that it never does.... not matter how true or untrue it is!

Bride sues guest over outburst.

Do take a minute to check this out... it would be good to have a prior conversation, with whomever is doing the toast, that they not be sloshed before taking the mic.

How do I remember my _____ at the Ceremony?

"How do I remember my _____ at the Ceremony?" I'm asked pretty often. I have two thoughts on this... first (and foremost) you don't want everyone bursting out into tears at the remembrance of your dear aunt Peg that died tragically and secondly, let's do this tastefully. After all, we're celebrating a very joyous occasion. Some of the things that I've suggested or have helped with: placing a red rose where the person would have sat tying a ribbon around the chair where they would have sat ringing a bell during the ceremony adding verbiage to the program telling everyone that you're missing this person a picture and candle placed near the sign-in book a picture in the program a moment of silence directed by the pastor taking the bride's bouquet to the cemetery after the ceremony

Keep the occasion joyous but prioritize what's important to you.

Please RSVP

I promise I'm not getting on my soap box to talk about all of you that don't RSVP.... promise. However, if you have one on your office desk please mail it today. "Please RSVP"... we see it all the time... but what does it mean? It's a French phrase that translates to "please respond" and word for word means "respond if you please". But most don't as lots of my clients know. And saying "please RSVP" is pretty redundant now that you know what it means, right? It seems the younger the guest, the least likely it is that you'll receive a RSVP. But I think there's a solution - not for weddings... we have to bite the bullet for weddings but for a party here's a great idea: Why not text your RSVP? A quick yea or nay will do. Isn't that ingenious? It worked for a client that was here last month. The hosts were throwing a surprise 16th Birthday Party for their lovely and instead of biting her nails down to the cuticles, she decided to give this a whirl. Worked like a charm. Kids of 15-19 don't know how to communicate any longer. Texting is right up their alley. BTW... the RSVP above has to be one of my faves!!! Love it. Below is a pic from the party for the 16 y.o. The decor was off the hook.

Why Hire A Coordinator?

The age old question. Alas an answer from my colleague and friend Jeannie from CA:Spend the 3 minutes it will take to read this... there's such great information here not to be missed. A recent wedding here had something similar like this stuff happen... it makes me crazy to think people trust anybody with their weddings!! My blog is a place where brides and grooms can come for good advice with a smile. Normally, I wouldn’t post anything with a negative tone, but I’m compelled to warn you about what can happen when you don’t hire an experienced wedding planner.

Recently a bride called me inquiring about hiring me. I was already booked for her day, but referred her to another planner that I know and trust. Her wedding was 45 days away and she still didn’t have a DJ. Even though I wasn’t her planner I referred a great DJ to her, and she hired him.

Monday after the wedding, I heard from my valued DJ. The bride decided not to hire a planner because she didn’t want to pay the fee, and she was confident that her family members would take care of the details. Unfortunately they didn’t, and her wedding was not all she was wishing for. Here is a list of what went wrong, and how it could have been avoided.

* The bride was 30 minutes late for her own wedding. We make a detailed timeline of the entire day, from the time the make-up artist arrives, to the time the limo picks up the bridal party, etc. We even contact your hair and make-up artists to tell them what time they should start and finish, to keep the bride on time. * The florist was late and didn’t have an assistant to help him. He was putting down the aisle runner and petals while the guests were seated and watched. A professional coordinator’s timeline is detailed. Each vendor (including the florist), is called two weeks before the event to discuss the duties and what time they need to start work and finish work. The florist is called again a few days before the wedding to confirm. I always have an assistant, and often times an intern. If a vendor is late and needs help to finish, we all jump in to get it done. * Kneeling benches were to be used for the ceremony. The bride’s sister was to pick them up from the rental company and bring them. She didn’t do it! Her own sister didn’t do it. Prior to every wedding, I’m mentally prepared for every possible problem. I know what rental company is nearby, and could have had my assistant pick them up within ten minutes. * Seating cards were to be placed outside of the ballroom. Assigned seating was the order of the day. The bride left this task to her beloved and responsible cousin. Guess what? She forgot them! It was a seating “free for all”. Important family members were relegated to the back of the room, because people who took the seats closest to the couple refused to move. We require that the seating cards are given to us the night of the rehearsal. We place them and assist guests in being seated. * The ceremony was one hour late and the priest threatened to leave because he had another wedding to perform. He instructed the DJ to start the music and send the bride down the aisle immediately or he would leave. The bridal party was running around visiting with friends and would not stay lined up. The brides father couldn’t be found when it was time to start. The Bride had to walk down the aisle alone! This is absolutely heartbreaking. There are always two of us at every wedding. I stay with the bride and her maids, and my assistant stays with the groom and his men. We keep everyone in line. The latest I’ve ever started a wedding was 10 minutes. * Photography is one of the most important aspects of your wedding. You get one opportunity to capture “moments” on film. The photographer at this wedding was eating hors’ doeuvres and sitting down. The DJ caught him sitting down on several occasions, not taking pictures. He had to continually hound him all night to do his job. It is not the job of the DJ to help with all of these problems. This couple was very lucky that this DJ is very caring and wanted the best for them. A coordinator would have made sure the photographer was doing his job. If necessary, my assistant would shadow him and keep him on his toes. It’s our job to oversee that the important shots are being captured.

* A video montage was to be played during the reception. The bride assured the DJ that there would be a projector and a screen provided. She forgot to inform the venue. No screen, no projector. Luckily the DJ had a backup projector in his vehicle. He convinced the venue manager to allow them to use their screen (additional fee for the couple). We do a final walkthrough with the venue to go over the timeline and flow for the day. The mistake would have been indentified and corrected at that time.

In the long run, the couple were married. Isn’t that what really matters? Of course it is. But the bride was especially distressed about everything that went wrong. Most brides are sure that their family will “take care of them that day”. I can attest to the fact that when a family member has been assigned a duty, 8 times out of 10, they don’t deliver. It’s not that they don’t love you, but your wedding is not their priority. We see it happen every day. That’s why I carry in the trunk of my car, an extra sign in book, toasting glasses, garters in every color, place cards and pens.

We are trained floral designers. If the florist forgets grandpa’s boutonniere, I can make one in one minute. My emergency kit contains, florist’s wire, tape and pins. We can put together an amazing cake topper from flowers from your centerpieces in five minutes.

Pardon the sound of anger in this post. I am so heartbroken for this couple. For the cost of hiring an experienced planner, these problems could have been avoided. Let me break it down this way.

Wedding Coordinator- Month Of Package…$1500 Walking down the aisle with your dad….PRICELESS!!!

The Parents

The Parents... that's what the first born call us... he'd been calling us that even before the movie.The following was sent to me by a dear friend who never lacks in hilarity... This one is dedicated to the two loves of my life.

PARENT - Job Description

This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way, I don't believe any of us would have done it!!!!

POSITION : Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop

JOB DESCRIPTION :

Long term, team players needed, for challenging, permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities! Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES :

The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :

None. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :

None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION :

Get this!.. You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS :

While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.

Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, letting them know they are appreciated for the fabulous job they do... or forward with love to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

** AND A FOOTNOTE THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!!